This needs to stop. I have not changed. I have been as unbiased as I can possibly be this entire year. I'm not biased this time either. I made a request to someone to change the way they are doing things and they did not listen to me or to our coach. If they aren't going to listen, I'm not going to let them keep playing that way. I will put in someone who is going to do it correctly. I didn't like Daniel being my captain last year either. I hated some of the decisions he and Michael made at Summit but I still listened to him and didn't argue after I put my two cents in. People have a problem with me running with the baton in my right hand so I stopped. I prefer it in my right because it takes away the possibility of my knocking over the pins with it but I changed because other people had a problem with it. I expect the same courtesy from everyone else.
Now I'll deal with the individual comments I remember:
"Mildly cussing him out" - Let me remind you that he approved of the word as well (as cited from the AWANA Forums when people became offended at it's use).
"Take his athletic ability for granted", I hardly think so. He's in the games he deserves to play, the same way everyone else is. That isn't taking it for granted, is it? Taking someone out of a game because of attitude is not the same thing as taking them out because they are unathletic. That isn't taking it for granted either so I'm not sure where this argument even finds its roots.
Feel free to comment on this post. I won't delete a single thing anyone says.
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I'm no where near being able to claim this but I'm trying my best.
7 comments:
Marcelo your attitude needs to stop right now. You have a supremely self-righteous attitude in which you believe you are entirely unbiased which is blatantly false. I could cite names and give examples of different times with different people in events that you changed, if you were to be truly unbiased you would go by times and consistency, not just who you think is more athletic. Regardless that is not the point here. The point here is that you've been extremely rude to some people and taking your position for granted. I agree, it is hard to be the captain because sometimes you have to make tough calls, but honestly some of the crap you've done, like PUBLICLY insulting someone MULTIPLE times and then deleting what is a chastisement of your actions. That's being self-righteous in where you can't do anything wrong, because you're compeltely unbiased and you switched baton hands. (On a side note: You also never told anyone why you ran with it in your right hand, then there could have a been a discussion because I believe that point has some validity, but I digress).
You have been really unfair to some people on this team, and although others (like myself) tend to try to put ourselves in your position, we are wrong too, but that doesn't mean that you're not at fault. You need to watch your attitude.
You know, when Altobelli said you were the games team captain, I was honestly wondering if he had made a mistake. But I decided that instead of watching and waiting for you to screw up, I was going to support you in every way possible. And to the best of my abilities, I have tried to make sure that I have done so whenever possible. How many times have I stood up for you on my blog when people have not respected you? How many times have I offered to stand beside you in support if you ever decided to confront anyone who disrespected you? And although you haven't been there to see it, there have been multiple times when I have told people that they shouldn't worry, MARCELO IS A GOOD LEADER. I've watched you carefully over the past six months, carefully scrutinizing your every action. And though you weren't perfect, I liked what I saw.
What did I see? I saw someone who was trying their best to be unbiased and think about what was best for the TEAM, rather than just what they wanted. I saw someone who was willing to see that they had faults and DEAL WITH THEM. If you need proof of this just look over your own blog. I saw a GOOD LEADER.
That is why this hurts me so much Marcelo. I wish I was saying this to you face to face so you could SEE the TEARS COMING OUT OF MY EYES and maybe you would finally understand! Do you really understand the reason why your current attitude hurts, not just yourself, not just the team, but hurts ME so much??? Marcelo you've done a GOOD JOB this year. We are so, SO close to the end right now...I am begging you, PLEASE DON'T SCREW IT UP!!!
If I really didn't believe in your ability to be a good leader, if I really didn't care about you, I wouldn't bother with you. I have better things to do with my time. The reason I am even attempting to communicate with you is because I DO care about you. Aaaaah...I wish there was some way to get you to feel what I'm feeling, because maybe if you did, maybe you'd understand.
Just one more thing...I do not want you in any way to think that I condone you-know-who's actions. I don't. But there's a proper way to deal with that, and as Brian said, publicly calling him out on it multiple times isn't dealing with it. If it was he would have stopped a long time ago.
Cite names and give examples then, because I honestly don't see how I am being biased. I also don't see how I am taking my position for granted.
(Side note: Actually, I did tell people my reason for running with the baton in my right hand. No one listened. Go figure.)
Maybe I shouldn't have said that one here. But as far as this being for ME, you are way off. I would say this same thing if it were anyone else. Someone is playing a game in a way that isn't efficient and that, when we go up against a GOOD tug team, we are going to lose if people play like that. I'm not doing this because I have a problem with anyone. In fact, I'm completely fine with Andy. I have no ill will towards him anymore. The reason I am saying this is because I told him twice at locals (to his face mind you) that he needed to stop doing that.
If he isn't going to listen to Everett, he isn't going to listen to anyone. The last comment I made was that if he doesn't stop, he is out. Two people have told him that isn't the way to play and he didn't stop. If he won't, he is out. The end.
"Maybe I shouldn't have said that one here...I would say the same thing to anyone else."
Marcelo, you totally just made my point for me. The issue isn't who you're considering taking out, the issue is the manner in which you are going about this.
Before I go on I need to sincerely apologize, because I have actually noticed this problem for some time but didn't have the guts to confront you about it. I tried to ignore it and hope it would go away. Maybe if I had spoken up sooner this thing would have been resolved a long time ago. Thankfully Brian is a lot smarter than me and realized this had to be confronted. You are lucky to have him as your best friend. But I digress.
Throughout my life God has seen it fit to put me in various positions of leadership, so I know quite a bit about how God wants leadership done (mostly because I always end up doing it the wrong way). One of the things that God has made blatantly clear to me is this:
It is possible for a leader to be in the right AND in the wrong at the same time.
Let me explain.
One of the jobs of a leader is to notice when someone else has a problem and confront it. This is what you have done with Andy. You saw there was a problem and you confronted it. This is exactly what you are supposed to do as our leader.
But it is also a leader's responsibility to model the character of Christ. Even in confrontation-especially in confrontation-a leader needs to model the love of Christ. This is where Brian and I noticed something was lacking and Brian confronted you about it. When Brian says you are taking your position for granted, what he means is that just because you're the leader, you don't have the right to be rude.
Ephesians 4:29-"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers."
Proverbs 15:1-"A soft answer turn away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
Proverbs 15:4-"A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, But preverseness in it breaks the spirit."
Marcelo, when you as a leader confront somebody, the characteristics of these verses should be evident in the words you speak. But we don't see that-we see a harsh word. Mildly cussing someone out is not Christlike at all, and even if you didn't use that word there was still no softness in your answer (as a side note: it does not matter whether or not he approves of that word. What words he approves of is not the standard. The way you used it clearly showed your heart and your intention is choosing that word.)
That was the original problem that Brian pointed out, and unfortunately the problem has only escalated. By deleting Brian's (and my) posts you show that you clearly believe that you are 100% in the right here and are not willing to consider that maybe there is something you could improve or have done differently. This is the reason I said you've changed, because the guy who's written this blog for the past six months, who wrote "Bringing Down Babylon" was willing to look at himself and change what needed to be changed-even if it was different from what other people thought needed to be changed!
Whether or not you are entirely unbiased isn't the point. Whether or not you've asked Andy to change and he hasn't isn't the point. The point is that there is an attitude that needs to be changed. I've tried my best to communicate with you what that attitude is and how it's shown itself. Now all I can do is step back and pray that God makes my words clear to you, because without Him all these words are nothing more than black letters on white space.
I love you and care for you, Marcelo.
I still believe you're a good leader, and I am still standing next to you, ready to support you all the way through to the end. No matter what.
Honestly, I can't really say much about this situation that is going on because my information comes through this blog. What I can say, whether you take it to thought or not, is that the person who wrote 'Bringing Down Babylon' and whom I quizzed with at Summit is not the same as the person who has been writing on the "For the Fame of His Name" blog as of late. I know I hardly know you, Marcelo (and the rest of Grace Covenant as well), but as your sister in Christ I can tell that what is going on is not OF or FOR Christ. I absolutely dilike conflict among the Body of Christ, and absolutely love teamwork. Shaney & Brian are good friends who know you well. Personally, I know that if more than one of my friends noticed something different, I probably should listen.
Praying for you Marcelo!!!
And for Shaney, Brian, Andy, and the rest of your teammates!
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